BEST POLICE EUPHEMISM: "Ongoing Infidelity Incident"

Henry Nataupsky, Courtesy Palm Beach County Jail.

BOCA RATON, FL ( — The Palm Beach County Sheriff's Office — or at the very least Deputy Similien — gets a hat tip from for what is one of the best police euphemisms we've ever seen. It comes in a police report detailing the assault charge filed against Henry Nataupsky, 62, of Boca.

Nataupsky, according to police, was involved in an argument with his wife about his “Ongoing Infidelity Incident.”

Reads the report:

“The victim/complainant said she was involved in an argument with her husband, Henry Nataupsky, over an ongoing infidelity incident. While confronting her husband regarding the extra marital affair (the victim) contended that Henry became angry, pushed her against the bedroom set inside their residence, and caused her to sustain physical pain in the left side of her rib cage. Henry was placed under arrest and transported to the Palm Beach County Jail for booking.”

He was later released on his own recognizance.

Editor's note: This information is provided by police. We — and they — have no way of knowing whether there truly was an 'ongoing infidelity incident' in this case or not.