BOCA BRRRRR! Psychologist Says Boca Women Complaining Of Cold Can't Help Themselves

BOCA RATON, FL ( — Don't scoff at women complaining about the cold front set to move through Boca Raton over the next several days.

That's the guidance from a psychologist who works with woman clinically diagnosed with “anti-cognitive-bragartitis” — a condition known as ACB that leads one to complain through actions, clothing and statements that can be interpreted as both positive and negative simultaneously.

Psychologist Mortimer Abromonanin says many afflicted with the condition just can't help themselves.

“These will be the women in line at Starbucks or Nieman Marcus, wearing knee-high boots, fur coats and scarves covering their Lulu Lemon spandex. These are what we call the 'nww's or non-working-women.' They will make statements such as 'I love the cold weather' while simultaneously texting a family member or friend in New York saying they now understand what it's like to experience winter. The act of empathy is the tell tale sign of the condition. It's irrational to believe that someone in the northeast wants to hear about 58 degree weather in Boca Raton, but those afflicted with ACB can't understand that. They can't process that reality.”

Abromonanin has spent much of his career focused on studying and treating ACB in areas like Boca Raton and Scottsdale, Arizona, two locations with predictably warm weather that occasionally experience a dramatic temperature change for 24 to 48 hours twice or three times a year.

“You'll hear these women make comments about the 'tushie warmers' in their BMWs and Lexuses, and how silly they originally thought the feature would be. Again, it may not sound like a complaint about the weather, but if you analyze the statement, you realize they are both bragging about their car while simultaneously complaining about the weather by stating they need the seat warmer to start with.”

So is there hope?

“There really is no cure for ACB at this point,” said Abromanin, “just ongoing therapy. It's the sort of condition that is worse for the people around the ACB sufferer than the sufferer themself. The good news is that the cold weather, which often triggers ACB, is only expected to last a few days. By Sunday, those with ACB should be complaining less.”


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