BOCA RUDETON: Dogs On Tables, Idiotic Parkers Plague Palm Beach County

It’s Another Week Of Selfish, Self-Absorbed, Self-Entitled People Who Probably Need Serious Help.

DELRAY BEACH, FL (BocaNewsNow.com) (Copyright © 2025 MetroDesk Media, LLC) — If you’re looking for people who are clearly in need of some sort of help, look no further than this week’s edition of Boca Rudeton. It is full of people living in — or visiting — South Palm Beach County who clearly believe that “The Free State Of Florida” means you can do whatever the hell you want, regardless of how it impacts others. Well, in the “Free State of Florida,” turns out we’re all free to expose these people and their social ineptitude.

We start at Menchie’s Frozen Yogurt in Delray Market Place. That’s where we find this wonderful, thoughtful, caring woman who wanted everyone to experience her dog. That must be why she put it on a table that is there for the use of humans eating food, not dogs slobbering and potentially pooping. We don’t know who this woman is (we bet someone does), and we don’t know if she is claiming that this dog is a service animal. But let’s be clear: service animals aren’t allowed on tables in restaurants. And really, this woman shouldn’t be allowed out of her house. We know some people call frozen yogurt “gross.” We call this woman who puts her dog on a table in a frozen yogurt restaurant “gross.”

We move to IHOP in Delray Beach where this man is inexplicably feeding a dog in the restaurant while people are trying to eat. We fully understand that no one is going to IHOP for a gourmet meal, but even so, this is just gross. The man allegedly told our tipster that it’s a “service” dog. Think it is?

No one may be going to IHOP for a gourmet meal, but the story is different at Morton’s in Boca Raton, where the restaurant used to be known as “nice.” If Morton’s is still promoting a “fine dining” experience, we have to ask: why would Morton’s allow this in its restaurant? If the dog is providing a service, it certainly isn’t riding around in a stroller meant for children. And if it’s not providing a service, it is against the for the dog to be present. We know, we hear you saying it: “way to expose grossness in a steak restaurant. Your job is well done.”

Let’s take this opportunity to remind everyone of Florida law. As always, we turn to LaBamba on Atlantic Avenue in Delray Beach which greets diners with the sign, above.

At the Royal Palm restaurant in East Boca Raton, our tipster doesn’t understand why this woman felt it was okay to bring her dog inside. We don’t either. Ignorance of the law doesn’t mean it’s okay to break the law.

Our tipster here sadly didn’t tell us which store this manly man is shopping in with his teeny tiny dog. But we do love that they’re in matching colors. Go turquoise! Go turquoise!

At Boca Raton Town Center Mall, it’s again looking like a dog park. We don’t understand why Simon Property Group (NYSE: SPG) permits animals in the mall. The company keeps trying to convince people that malls are great places to shop. They’re not. No one steps in dog poop while shopping online. But that’s not the case at the mall in Boca Raton. These people are gross. So is the mall.

It wouldn’t be an edition of Boca Rudeton™ if we didn’t have someone with a dog in Publix. This is the Publix at Clint Moore and 441. There are huge signs saying “no pets.” But this woman is special. We know she’s special her dog is wearing a skirt, much like she is. In fact, we wonder if people look at them and say, “wait, you two look so alike! How is that possible?!” So we guess the question is really this: is the dog allowed to bring the woman into Publix, or did the woman get special permission to bring the dog into Publix? We wonder.

To parking now, and this amazing parking job at the Publix at the corner of Linton and Jog. You might recall from previous posts, and the basic knowledge anyone has a drivers license is supposed to have, that diagonal lines mean “don’t park here,” not, “yes, idiot, it’s okay to park here.” So driver of Honda CR-X with Florida plate QRT-I86, we suggest learning about parking rules. Then maybe changing your plate to I-M-ID-E-8.

We drive on down to Deerfield Beach and to Sprouts at Powerline and Hillsboro where the driver of this Mercedes is very, very special. We know the driver is special because their Mercedes with Florida plate LBA-H64 is allowed to take two spots! Way to do it your way!

Outside Sicilian Oven in Delray Beach, this driver apparently believes he or she can park wherever he or she wants. It’s a VW with Florida plate JKXT98. Again we say: diagonal lines mean “don’t park here,” not “do park here.” We warn other motorists: idiots are everywhere.

And look no further than at Sicilian-Oven-Adjacent. That’s where we find this car Sunday outside Joseph’s market at Lyons and Atlantic. Note that the parking lot is largely empty. But that didn’t stop the driver of this Mercedes from taking two spots. Hey, driver of Mercedes with Florida plate Y58-NMB, learn to park. Seriously. Learn to park.

So who is this week’s winner? We’re so glad you asked. Our judges have tabulated the results and came to the unanimous decision that “Gross Lady With Gross Dog At Menchie’s In Delray Beach” is the winner. What does she win? Well, our readers know we don’t really give prizes, but if we did, it would be this Google Gemini-created statute of a dog peeing on frozen yogurt in a Menchie’s cup. Congratulations!

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