No Toupee? Skip The Atlantic Grille At Seagate Hotel In Delray

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DELRAY BEACH, FL ( — BY MORTY EATOWITZ, FOOD CRITIC — If you are heading to the Atlantic Grille at the Seagate Hotel on Atlantic Avenue in Delray Beach, you are best advised to bring your toupee, or a dinining companion with at least two layers of plastic surgery. Your trusty food critic did neither Saturday night and ended up paying the price.
Morty and his dashing dining companion, who will be delivering either a baby Morty or Morticia in the next few weeks, trekked to Delray for what we hoped to be a lovely “last night out for a while” date before the new baby is born. We chose the Atlantic Grille at the Seagate following a lovely breakfast several months ago at the hotel. Sadly, the main restaurant at the Seagate just doesn’t compare to the laid back and efficient experience at the breakfast nook.
It’s not that the food is bad. In fact, the food at the Atlantic Grille was quite good. But the management of the Atlantic Grille is so out of touch with its staff that you have to wonder how anyone gets seated.
And therein lies the the problem.

The hostess was wearing a black mini dress that Morty thinks he once saw in a documentary about hookers. “How could this be?” Morty asked the Hostessitute.

Morty Eatowitz is a big fan of Open Table, the online restaurant booking service utilized by restaurants nationwide. Morty doesn’t really like dealing with people, so if he can go online, he does. The reservation was made and an outside table was requested. The confirmation email specified just that. And when Morty and his very pregnant dining companion checked in, the hostess — wearing a black mini dress that Morty thinks he once saw in a documentary about hookers — confirmed that we could sit outside. But as we approached the table, much like a Century Village resident taking the Toyota Camry out for a spin, we were cut off at a high rate of speed by another hostess who seated her late-middle-aged customers at the last remaining outdoor table.
“How could this be?” Morty asked the Hostessitute. She paused for a second, then said, “you need to wait here while we buss another table. There’s nothing left outside. We can’t guarantee outside seating.”
Using the word “buss” at what is supposed to be a nice restaurant immediately destroys the mood, as “bussing” is something you do in the college cafeteria after you’re done eating. And to offer an outside table, only to have it taken away due to mismanagement, is simply unacceptable to Morty Eatowitz.

“Morty Eatowitz does not recommend the Atlantic Grille At The Seagate Hotel for anyone under 80.”

What makes it worse is upon Morty’s request, manager “Mark” came to our new table to explain how difficult it is to run a restaurant and that everyone can’t sit where they want to. He then went on to criticize “Open Table,” which likely violates their operating agreement with the company. He said that “Open Table” provides no information to the restaurant and that diners should call him directly. We don’t know if this was a subtle plea for a gratutity, but the comment is of course absurd. Open Table provides a restaurant with the same information it provides a customer upon confirmation. And either this or another Hostessitute called Morty on Saturday to confirm that an outside table was still being requested. (Editor’s Note: Learning from Rush Limbaugh’s error, we are not suggesting for a minute that a hostess at the Atlantic Grille is a prostitute. Their uniforms, however, have striking similarities to Morty’s perception of the stereotype, in Morty’s opinion).
Mark the manager then offered us the next outside table available. But when it became available just minutes later, he seated someone else, saying they had been waiting. Then Mark the Manager of the Atlantic Grille got up in Morty’s Grille to again explain how difficult it is to run a restaurant. Morty had to take three steps back to avoid being knocked over by Manager Mark’s breath.
45 minutes into our meal, Mark the Manager finally offered us an outside table that had opened up. We declined, as we were, you know, 45 minutes into our meal.
As Morty looked at the outside diners, he realized that clearly there was a problem, and something Morty couldn’t solve. While there’s no way to prove it, it seems — in Morty’s opinion — that the only people sitting outside had appeared in a “Hair Club For Men” commercial, and/or were dining with a companion who — as they say in Boca — “had some work done.”
To put it another way: The Atlantic Grille at the Seagate Hotel is not for people who grew up when Madonna, Cindi Lauper, and Bruce Springsteen topped the charts. It’s for a crowd that considers Neil Diamond to be a contemporary. If Cougars, or the male version of Cougars are your thing, you may have a lovely evening. But if you are looking for a nice restaurant with solid management and enough tables and chairs to make everyone happy, Morty suggests Nick’s New Haven Pizza — which we reviewed last week.

Morty Eatowitz does not recommend The Atlantic Grille at the Seagate Hotel for anyone under 80. And if you are over 80, Morty suggests that you give your grandkids the $150 you’ll spend there and just eat in your facility’s dining room.

Morty Eatowitz does not recommend The Atlantic Grille at the Seagate Hotel for anyone under 80. And if you are over 80, Morty suggests that you give your grandkids the $150 you’ll spend there and just eat in your facility’s dining room.
Rating: On a scale from 1 to 5 Morties, where “More Morties Means More,” we bestow just one “Morty” on the Atlantic Grille at Seagate Hotel.
Note to the Seagate Hotel: Morty will happily re-review your restaurant following a management change and reconsideration of the role “Open Table” plays with your reservations. If you are going to advertise your use of Open Table, it is our position that these reservations must be given the same priority and attention as reservations made by telephoning the restaurant directly.

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13 thoughts on “No Toupee? Skip The Atlantic Grille At Seagate Hotel In Delray

  1. Get over it Morty …. you’re nobody special …. so you had to wait like most ‘real’ people do …. too bad!

    1. Paul,
      Morty agrees that Morty is no one special. And that’s why Morty’s observations are relevant. Morty is treated like everyone else, so wants everyone else to know how they can be expected to be treated. The sad reality is that many of the patrons at Atlantic Grille are old enough that any meal could be their last. They should be treated better.

  2. I couldn’t agree more. The only time I have ever date there (or as
    my granddaddy would say, the two times: my first and my last), my group was seated at a table covered with the remnants of the table’s previous occupants. The hostess informed us that she would immediately have someone come and clear it (although to be honest I’m not sure why she sat us at a dirty table to begin with). After waiting approximately 15 minutes, not only had nobody come to clear our table, but bussers walked past our table multiple times to clear other tables. We stopped one of them and requested again for the table to be cleared. He said he wasn’t working our section and walked off. I then went back to the hostess, who told me she told our waitress, whom we had still not met despite sitting at our dirty table for approximately 20 minutes at that point. Finally fed up, I walked to the kitchen and asked the next server to walk out to speak to the manager. Instead of saying something to the extent of “Of course,” he demanded to know why I needed to speak to the manager. I told him my lament, and off he went. About 10 minutes later, the manager came to our table and asked what was wrong. Again, I shared my experience. I expected him to begin clearing the table himself, but he instead went off presumably to lecture the busser and waitress. It was another 10 minutes before we saw either of them, at which point we told them we had decided to take our business elsewhere.

  3. Morty is a joke. should be embarrassed to have a staff writer on their team as obnoxious and subjective as this guy. Morty, if you don’t like dealing with people do us all a favor and stay out of east Delray.

    1. We did! A few sentences in. We said the food was quite good. But to be clear, it was no better than what you would get at a place like Chops (a Morty Eatowitz favorite). The difference is the attitude. Chops understands customer service and caters to a crowd that is diverse in age. Atlantic Grille — in Morty’s opinion — seems to be more of a waiting room for Century Village.

  4. Another Lame article written by “Morty” in the third person like a 5th grader!! Bocanews needs a real food critic that actually talks about the dishes they are eating, pace of service, value, variety, creativity, etc. Not about how “Morty” can’t keep his eyes off of the hostess in front of his pregnant wife. Oh I know why because “Morty” knows nothing about food or the restaurant business. Each of the businesses you slander are obviously busy so maybe they know a little something that you don’t. Or could it be that all of the diners in Boca and Delray are just idiots and Morty is the only intelligent diner here? Each article I have read by “Morty” it seems that management has tried to accommodate you but you grew up being pampered by mommy so nothing is ever good enough for you. Hence why your whole article is about how you weren’t given the seat you wanted. I have personally met the manager Mark and he seems like a very nice guy who goes out of his way for his customers, hence why the Atlantic Grille is on a wait most of the time. While you take the time off from eating out please think about this article. Maybe you can come back with more in depth articles with a hint of realism and less biased opinionated B.S.
    Note to I will happily continue to view your website for news when your management has a change in food critics. If you are going to have a food critic at all, I think they should at least write about the subject at hand.

    1. May the good food, good life, and good night be yours.
      Love and affection,
      Morty Eatowitz.

  5. MORTY,

    1. Our apologies for the delay in posting your comment. It was hung up in our back end system.
      As for your observations, a note direct from Morty:
      “Yes, there is a lot of complaining in South Florida. That’s nothing new. And even Morty thinks that Lexus-driving hurricane victims should leave the free water for others. But when it comes to a paid service, like the restaurant at the Seagate, I, Morty Eatowitz, disagree with your stance.
      The only time things get better is when deficiencies are pointed out. Customer service is horrendous throughout much of South Florida. If I, Morty Eatowitz, can point out these deficiencies and initiate change, then I intend to do so. We all work hard for our money. The places we choose to spend it should treat all of us with the great level of respect.
      The SeaGate restaurant does not do that.”

  6. While searching for a restaurant’s telephone number, I fell onto this page of “Morty” reviewing the Seagate’s Atlantic Grill restaurant.
    Reading his Seagate remarks – and especially the comments following the article – I found I do agree that Morty is obnoxius but I also agree with Morty’s phylosophy of ‘calling it as it is.’
    I – perhaps like others – have eaten in two different magnificent five star restaurants in my lifetime. I have also eaten in some hell holes in my travels. (when you are hungry, you eat where the food is). Those past experiences have convinced me that when a restaurant experience is bad, it should be known by both the public and the management. How else can the restaurant improve if it is not told what the eating public experiences? And how else can a dicerning diner know what to expect in a less than professional restaurant? Critics serve a purpose.
    For those that feel sympathetic with hard working people providing poor service, missmanaged restaurants, perhaps owners who want to cut costs and not to pay for proper professional help, or for those who are tolerant of just OK food at exorbitant pricing,whose own taste-buds just may also be aging, I say welcome to South Florida where too many restaurants suffer from an over abundance of under demanding diner’s. Of course, if a restaurant continues to operate at a good profit even while serving inferior food or providing poor service, then good for them for finding the perfect clientele for their success. Hopefully, critics like Morty will guide others in their choice of finding a wonderful restaurant experience elsewhere.